I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
