Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
