the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
