I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
