Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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