Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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