a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm really busy with my period
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