If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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