need another drink. this is the easiest way
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
be right there i have to get my cape
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
