i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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