Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize