she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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