Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I will pee on everything he values.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
