so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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