sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We have started to decorate penises.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
