Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
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Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
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How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
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