i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
