i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
