Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
