yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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