i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
