my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
