I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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