what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
