id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Too much gin, very little bucket
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
