At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
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It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
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seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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