Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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