Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize