I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
