we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
