While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
This is my gift to your gina
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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