Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
