btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
