They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
