I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
