i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
