I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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