..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
