you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
