I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
