i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize