question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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