I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
