Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
