I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
