I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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