good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
