We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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