We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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