he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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