What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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