yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
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Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
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someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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