Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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