I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
