Tell her she can't have a vagina
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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