Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
