can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
