Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize