I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
