Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
