Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
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