I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
